Wednesday 22 July 2009

Fleeting bursts of energy, channeled into nothing more than the tap, tap, tap of fingers on keys...

Today is weird. In an "I don't know what's going on" kind of way. I mean 'cause I started the day a little late today, after having an hour lie-in, which subsequently made me have to rush this morning. The up-side to me having to rush was that I ended up feeling full of energy when I arrived at work this morning.

That soon dissapeared.

Then I got a pain in my left "moob" (for want of a better word 'cause it's not that much of a moob) that wouldn't go away. Which was strange.

Then I started feeling on and off sleepy. I have been all morning. I mean yesterday I was just zonked all day. Today though I've been on and off sleepy. It's strange. I mean ok, Mock the Week did keep me up until 11:00, but it's not that fucking late. And it shouldn't make me this fucking tired.

Holy crap. I've just rememebered that I got up at 1:00. Haha. Not intentionally you see. But I remember waking up and seeing that it wa slight and going to the loo and then switching on my phone just in case I had slept right through my alarm (something I never do). Then when I realised it was 1:00 I went straight back to bed and back to sleep.

Maybe that is a contributing factor to my tiredness.

But then again I don't think so.

Mainly because I've had lots and lots of nice, comfortable nights of uninterrupted sleep and still felt this tired.

Meh I'm pissed off with my work days at the moment. I was going to say that I was pissed off with my life. But then I realised how good it is spending all this time with my best friends and my boyfriend. And y'a know, things could be worse... I guess.

So in a roundabout way I've gone from feeling angry and pissed, to feeling content in the knowledge that I am living life, that I am enjoying myself, and that hopefully this fucking tiredness will go away soon.

On another more sombre note, I am going to have to break up with Sam at some point. It's not ideal, but he's going to Bangor University in Wales next year. I'm not a long distance person. If over the summer I fall even more in love with him (if that's possible) then I might give it a try, but to be honest it would be really, really, difficult, because I really, really, really, really, really, need my attention. And then there's the fact that he comes from London and that he wouldn't really have any need to be in Lancaster except to see me, and that it would be really difficult to see him at holidays and stuff because he'd either be in Wales or London. And you know, they're both pretty far away.

I'm going to see how it goes though. I'm going to take it in my stride and love him whilst I can. I am going to make sure that we do the things we want to do together, before circumstances push us apart.

This will involve planning. But it will be done.

Peace out.

xx

Quote of the day: "Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach."

Song of the day: Exploration of Space - Cosmic Gate

No comments: