Pagan Soc...

Ok. So my idea for a Pagan Soc. talk has to be abandoned on the basis that my practical video (the main part) has epilepsy triggers. Not the best thing to be told. But hey. I can deal with it. Now I'm going to do my talk on "Music in Trance". With which I can do as Paul suggested and keep it "safe" in the "public arena" that is Pagan Soc. Which is obviously imperative. So yeah. I can keep the original idea for myself and keep working on it for my own personal journey. Which is good. Because now I've tried it, I'm even more intrigued and because I had a purpose with which to prepare it (for Pagan Soc.) I actually got quite a bit done, because it had a purpose. Now it doesn't have a public purpose any more, the momentum hasn't disappeared. Which is good. I can use that momentum for my own purposes.

Music in Trance.

Music in Trance.

Music in Trance.

It'll be interesting. I'm thinking of using the same music as in the video, because it has a good contrast between slow, peaceful music, and loud, energetic, electronic music. I mean it was the visuals that were the problem so as long as I don't use them, and keep it kind of a light trance then, fair enough, it'll be safe.

This is all for now.

xx

Last night...

Last night was.

Interesting.

I'm going to cautiously say it was good. But that's because I got to spend time with two absolutely wonderful best friends, and do some 'light' drinking, and dance and experience some awesome music.

I enjoyed being with two out of my three best friends, and dancing and stuff. It was just weird when Rob gave me a key to his house so I could go back with Liz and he could stay out. I found this a bit rude, and possibly self-centred. But then again we all know by now that Rob (like Jon funnily enough) has some kind of problem. I'm not going to outline it, but you know, he's enjoying his freedom. Possibly a little too much. But then again there's not much we can do at the moment, 'cause it's not really bad enough to warrant us really stepping in and you know, having a serious talk with him.

But anyway, I literally put his key in my pocket and then got my phone out to type his address in, so I knew for the taxi. And in that space I'd lost the key. He wandered off and I thought I'd dropped it. It wasn't good. So I got a taxi with Liz, and txt Rob and he told me to just ring his house, "it'll be fine." It was whatever time it was in the morning, I wasn't doing that.

Anyhoo, I got back to Rob's and got in my car, ready to kip there for the night, and I checked in my wallet (again I might add), and found it hidden beneath my cards. Which was good.

I woke up when my alarm went off, but then stupidly I turned it off and went back to sleep.

I realised this was a mistake when I woke up at 7:20, and had to get home and changed and ready for work by 8:30. It was manic. And that included an approximately 30 minute drive home.

It wasn't good. but I managed it. Which made me happy.

Now it is time for me to get back to work.

xx

Bit of doubling up on the quote/song today...

Quote of the day: "Sip my blood till there's no blood left to spill; From my neck embraced by a concealed grip I welcomed in my arms; Bruised by your love; Burned by your kiss; Is this true love? Bruised by your love; Burned by your kiss" - Eyes Set to Kill - Young Blood Spills Tonight

Song of the day: Eyes Set to Kill - Young Blood Spills Tonight

You can process my batch anytime...

Batch processing is awesome. It gives the impression of doing lots of hard work, with minimal effort. It's great. Im sat here at work, on facebook, blogging, and playing freecell, whilst at the same time doing my work! It's awesome. I mean ok, I was told to use batch processing at this point. But that doesn't matter. It's the principle.

That's all for now...

Peace out dudes.

xx

Unremarkable thoughts...

So today so far has been unproductive. You'd think that with me being at work I'd be busy, busy busy, but as luck would have it, my boss is out looking at showrooms or something, and so I'm having one of those, well deserved "at work but not quite all there" days. It's the kind of day where everything's going fairly slowly and where you know you've got work to do but you can't be bothered and where you know you deserve just taking your time and actually just relaxing a bit.

Ok, in truth this is just a fancy way of saying that I'm slacking today. But hey. I don't care. We're all allowed to slack once in a while.

In other news I have found an exciting new "answer engine" that is just absolutely awesome...

http://www.wolframalpha.com/

It's awesome. It calculated how many seconds I'd been alive. It's great for those tricky questions you have that on Google would just turn up a million rubbish pages with nothing related to your question...

As an add-on. I'm off out tonight. I'm out in Preston. I hope I'm up for it. I'm not going to be drinking, but I've been feeling a little down the past few days, so I'm hoping that all is well for tonight. It should be. As of right now I'm going. It's going to be good because I need to do some dancing. I've not done any in a while. Well since last DarkSide. Which was a few weeks ago, but still. And I'm crashing at Rob's. Which is awesome 'cause then I can have a drink if I want (I probably won't) and it means that I don't have to drive home tonight. I can just get up tomorrow and drive home then. Which is good.

That's all for now.

xx

Film scene of the day:

*Ginny Weasley enters late to Horace Slughorns supper party*
Ginny: "I'm not usually later sir."
Slughorn: "It's quite all right dear."
*Harry Potter stands up upon Ginny's entering of the room*
*Harry and Ginny share an awkard glance*
*Harry sits down and "re-adjusts" his penis*

Song of the day: Lovers who uncover - Crystal Castles and Harry Potter vs. Voldermort Rap

Swine Flu is a lie...

I'm not ill. Honest. I'm denying that I have an illness (that I don't really have) so that if I do get it I will be prepared to deny it and so that it will go away faster if I deny it. But then was I ever really ill if I was denying it all along?

Oh I don't know. But whatever it is I may (or may not) have is not going to stop me doing stuff. I'm going to eat, and sleep and I'm definitely still going out on Thursday. If it gets a lot worse then I'll have to stay in, but i won't because I don't have an illness.

Normally when I'm ill i don't feel like eating, and because I don't eat I lose energy and because I lose energy I get more weak and more ill and don't want to eat. Etc etc. It's a spiral that's hard to get out of. So i'm going to eat, and do stuff and try and stay out of bed (except to sleep at night) and try my hardest not to be ill (which shouldn't be too hard considering I'm not actually ill).

That is all for now.

Good*(fake)cough*bye

xx

Quote of the day: "It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept." - Bill Watterson

Song of the day: Delphic - This Momentary

Updates spewed from fingers run by caffeinated blood...

This morning was weird. In the sense that I managed to torrent all of Icon of Coils discography (except Shallow Nation and some of the remix e.p.'s) and get it on my i-pod. Yet I forgot to make myself lunch. It's annoying. So right now (having tried my honey roast cashews and peanuts) I'm eating brea-rolls. On their own. Dry. It's not the most satisfying meal ever. But I guess it's food. I'm lucky to have food.

But meh. I realised that I'd forgotten to make lunch at 8:30 (when I leave for work) and literally had to grab stuff as I left the house.

In other news I'm going to be productive tonight. I know it. And this time it's going to happen rain or no rain. I'm not even going home first. I'll have to go past my house, but I'm not stopping at home, because if I do I'll not leave. I won't be arsed. But I have to be arsed. So I'm going to go to uni and finishe moving out of this goddamn room! Once and for all!

xx

Quote of the day: "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." or "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” by Ernest Hemingway (not the quote I was looking for, but they're beautiful non-the-less)

Song of the day: Sea of Stars - Code 64

Dancing in the rain and other stuffs...

The rain fucked my productive mood. Right and royally. It was fun dancing in the rain. But it really, really killed my super productive mood. I'm annoyed. Now it seems that tonight is a night for sitting in my room with incense, candles and the radio.

I hate how the rain always seems to fuck up my productive moods. I wish it would rain that heavily when I was bored at home with nothing else to do but dance in it.

Fuck. I'm annoyed now.

In other news.

I'm. In. Love.




Quote of the day: "Anyone who says that sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain."


Song of the day: "A Spindle, a Darkness, a Fever, and a Necklace" - Bright Eyes

And the sun is calling my name, the trumpets calling me into action...

Today is a day for doing things. I can feel it. Or rather the coming days. I felt productive yesterday until I realised that I really hadn't done all that much, so today I'm going to make a conscious effort to, you know, do stuff that is productive. I'm hoping that I'm actually going to move out of my uni room today. It's a big task, but I'm sure I can do it. I'm really sure. If I put my mind to it. I've been putting it off, on the basis that "I'll do it some other time." and you know I'm always putting it off. But I think that if I drive to Lancaster then I'll have no reason but to finish taking everything out because I'll feel like it's a wasted trip otherwise. You know, I normally go to Lancaster to see Sam or go out with people or whatever, and I always bring little bits back here and there but I'm not out of my room yet just because I've not actually been up there just to tidy my room. I've not been up there just to move out, and I think that if my mind was focused on that instead of drinking or meeting people or whatever then it would be good. I'm hoping I get annoyed that i'm not out yet, and annoyed at the mess and because I'm annoyed, start a bit of a cleaning frenzy, and take everything that needs to come home down to my car, and throw away other stuff, and just generally tidy and clean and then clean and tidy and then hopefully it'll all be done.

It's wishful thinking to an extent, but if I'm really honest, I'm fairly sure I'll do it. Then I shall return home for food and other relaxation. Or possibly cleaning and tidying the house that is still a bit of a mess from my BBQ on Friday (which was really good BTW). Depending on what time I get back from Lancaster. 'Coz I can't be doing with a late night. I wasn't up especially late last night, but my early 10:00p.m. bedtime was ruined last night when I realised that I still had bright u.v. green nail-polish on, and that maybe bright green, or maybe nail-polish in general, wasn't right for work. Not on me at any rate.

After today I've not got a lot planned but I know I'm going to put the rest of my pictures up on Tuesday. And then I'm going out on Thursday, providing I can crash at Robs afterwards. On Wednesday I'm thinking I'll just stay in at home and watch t.v. or read or something. I'm not too sure, but I'm thinking a mid-week break from doing stuff would be nice. If the house is still a mess by then, then I'll do some tidying, but it shouldn't be. I'm hoping it won't be.

That's all I have for now. Which might seem ironic seeing as this is one of my longer lunch-time blogs. Fuck that.

Quote of the day: "Whoever says artists can't deal with corporate pressures because they have frail minds, is missing out on the potential the artistic mind has to boost company morale and increase productivity. Most artists would just as soon quit once they become conscious of their exploitation and that is a sign of strength not weakness.” - Martin Danksy

Song of the day: Supernova - Mr. Hudson Ft. Kanye West

Upon a babies breath I'm carried...

It's a beautiful evening. Beautiful because it's clear. It's cool but clear, and because it's clear it's slightly sunny. It's so beautiful that I want to almost cry. I want to dance and sing and scream and live and love and run and run and run until the sunset and your with your love is my only companion. And I'll write, and read, and listen, and lust, lust for life. As well as love, love you, love the way you smile, love that I can take your heart in my hand and know what when I smother it in love that you are doing the same.


I am going to start writing more prolifically. I mean, ok, I've always written prolifically, but I'm going to write more steadily. I'm going to write a little bit every day. Or more if things come to me. It's exciting. All I must remember is to not write my writing like a blog and write it more like a story. I don't know. I think that my blogs are good. And that pieces like the bit above are good, but I dunno really. I think it's a little too untamed. Or maybe not enough. Grrrr. It's annoying. I think that if I write like my blogs and then actually finish a novel and find it's too untamed then I can rewrite the bits I don't like and you know, generally tidy it up.

This is turning into nothing more than something for me to do, nothing more than me typing words and thoughts and feelings and using the energy that I have and can't get rid of. It's probably wuite shit, but I feel the need to tryp and so I'm typing. Letting my fingers run across the keys, letting my fingers do the talking, letting my random thoughts take control of my very own core.

As a piece of news I munst inform you readers in cyberspace that, today, I started customising my room. I started by printing some great pictures and then putting them in picture frames. It's awesome. Unfortunately I've only been able to put a few of them up because I only have a few nails in the wall and I'm not putting any more in whilst my parents are here. I'll either do something wrong or get told off. What I'm going to do instead is get my special strips from uni. They're awesome strips that like stick to the wall like glue, with no redisude when you take them off. You stick one on the wall and one on the object you're sticking to the wall. Then there's like a super strong velcro between them both. It's really good. No nails are needed. Unforutnately though they're at uni and I can't find any here at home. But still the pictures I have up are awesome. So far I have Bruce Springsteen, Conor Oberst, and Oscar Wilde. I'm waiting to put up Mike Scott, Marilyn Monroe, the steps at Montmatre and an old advert for an absinthe cafe in Paris.

It's going to look awesome.

xx

Quote of the day: “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” - Jack Kerouac - On the road.

Song of the day: Battlefield - Jordin Sparks - I'm not usually into this kind of R 'n' B tinged pop stuff normally, but recently it's been stuck in my head and I can't get it out.