Apathetic boy is apathetic...

Yes, this is true. Apathetic boy is apathetic.

And now apathetic boy is angry.

I wish I had something worse than dyspraxia, just so my mother would stop trying to make things "ok". She seems to think that if she tells me to do things, or gets in the way of things, that they'll be better. They won't. So stop trying. It's like last night. I was sat in the lounge, still in my work clothes (long sleeved shit and dark jeans), and she came in and the first thing she said to me was, "Gosh, you look hot." (And not in that way you sick minded perverts.) And she said it in one of those ways which to me says "You should have changed by now, because it's hot and I THINK you should have changed." And it pisses me off to much. I complained about this and her comback was something along the lines of, "Well what am I supposed to do? You don't seem to be able to understand when your body is telling you something. If you can't see it yourself then I have to step in. I don't like doing it either but it's hard to see you like this."

Point 1

I've always been like this. Nothing has changed. Nothing is different. It has always been this way, and it always will be this way. There is nothing she can do to change me. I have dyspraxia, things are going to be difficult. I'm not going to act "normally." I'm not going to be able to listen to my bodies needs all the time. Fuck off and leave me alone.

Point 2

I won't be at home forever. You won't always be there to tell me those things. I mean I might not do these things when you leave me to my own devices, but you're going to have to leave me to my own devices some day.

FUCK OFF!

In the kindest way possible I just wish you'd fuck off and leave me to my own devices. Grrrrrrr.

I need to get back to work now.

Work is boring.

xx

Quote of the day: "Pretty is the sun don't shine, I'll be coming up to get you, I'll be there to make you mine" - Air Traffic - Shooting Star

Song of the day: Shooting Star by Air Traffic