Narcoleptic phonecalls...

So last night I conquered a slight phobia I have. Well actaully, it's not really a phobia. It's an axiety. A small anxiety. But non-the-less annoying. It's a phone thing. Not the actual phone itself. But the calling of people on the telephone. I just don't like doing it. Close family I can do it with. But ask me to ring other people and it gets silly. I just put it off. And then I put if off. And then eventually I be brave and do it. Then everything is all right.

It's silly I know, but it happens. And when I say I conquered it. I didn't really conquer it all the way, it's going to happen again, I know it is. But I took the bull by the horns and did something I'd never envisaged myself doing. This basically was me feeling, annoyed, lonely (in my empty house - it's empty for two weeks) and just pain unloved. I'd been planning to meet my boyfriend on Saturday, but when I txt him, he was busy and he asked me if I'd like to join him for a bit before I went on my night out and it was sweet, but I was all ready late for meeting friends and so I declined. (As it was I probably could have seen him for about 15 minutes. But heh ho.)

Anyway, so I was txting my dear friend Jacqueline. Who is awesome in every way, and whom I helped moved to Manchester on Saturday so she could be out of her uni room and so she didn't have to take her stuff on the train. She suggested I ring my boyfriend and speak to him (Seeing as he hadn't replied to a few of my txts and I was feeling unloved because of that - weird I know, don't ask.)

At this point I had a film on t.v. (A good one about two guys in wheelchairs with cerebral palsy. It was very good) and I muted the sound and just sat there for a minute trying to build up the courage to ring him. I messed around for a bit typing the number into the house phone and putting it off and putting it off and stuff. Then I just did it. I pressed the green telephone.

The ring, ring, ring, of the phone was almost taunting me, but he picked up and we had a really good phone conversation. I mean he's socially inept, just like I am. Just more so. And although I've never found it a problem holding a conversation with him, I just thought that it might be different over the phone. But it wasn't. It was a nice phone call. It made me feel a lot better. I feel that I'm going to be ringing him a lot more from now on.

xx

Quote of the day: "Well the future's got me worried such awful thoughts; My head's a carousel of pictures, the spinning never stops; I just want someone to walk in front; And I'll follow the leader. Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush; Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs; I almost forgot who I was; But came to my senses" - Bright Eyes - Nothing Gets Crossed out

Song of the day: This one is too difficult to make it a song. So I'm going to make it an album... Stainless Style by Neon Neon